Tuesday, February 22, 2005


Scientists are saying that people taking the antidepressants Zoloft and Prozac are twice as likely to attempt suicide as those people just taking sugar pills.

Apparently these drugs make you feel so good… you can’t go on living.

Is it me or is this a side affect that should have been worked out ahead of time?

Most drugs have side affects that cause headaches, nausea, bloating, cramping, swelling, blindness and extra ears to grow on your head. But you have to be a special kind of stupid to create an antidepressant that makes you want to kill yourself?

But the best line came from the representative from the pharmaceutical companies. He said and I quote. “While we admit that the tests do show a rise in the number of “attempted” suicides, the number of “actual” suicides has declined 25%”

Where do I begin?

So these drugs make you want to kill yourself but impair you enough physically and mentally so that you’re not good enough to pull it off. So that causes you to feel like a failure and you don’t want to go on living. Helloooooo…….

And who were the people they gave the sugar pills to?

What about this group?

So let me get this straight.

You give depressed people sugar pills to see if they will attempt suicide.


And instead they feel better and want to live…

They gave them sugar…

And they felt better…


I can’t tell you how many times I’ve busted out the Chunky Monkey and a Ding Dong and wanted to stand in the breeze on the bow of the Titanic!

Here’s a question. Why are we medicating the depressed people?

Some people’s lives just suck. That’s the beauty of life. These lonely depressed people are what make us feel good about our lives. These people give us the opportunity to say, “Well times are tough but at least I’m not Achmed.”

If everyone is walking around happy then the only thing left to make us feel good are those old National Geographic TV shows about the starving people in India and Africa.

Remember those? I remember as a family sitting around watching TV after a good Sunday dinner thinking, “Man those people are miserable… when’s dessert?”



Here’s a thought why not drop Zoloff and Prozac over all the Third World countries? They’re already blowing themselves up so the suicide side effect is a mute point. They’ve got a 50% chance to be starving and feel good about it. I like those odds.

You know when I was a kid and I felt down or sad my dad used to offer these words of encouragement and advice, “You’ve got food to eat, clothes to wear and a place to sleep, suck it up and pull your head out of your ass!”

I urge you to do the same for your kids and save the medication for the poor.

Last but not least let’s talk about the rain here in San Diego. When it started people were so happy. “Oh thank god it’s raining, we sure need the rain, and boy the grass sure needs it, and blah, blah, blah.”

Then the next-door neighbors pool slides down the hill into your other neighbors backyard and people aren’t so chipper anymore. But hey, here's another opportunity to feel good about your life.

I think weather is just one of the earth’s ways of reminding people that we’re just temps here. We cause wars, pollution, famine, global warming etc., and occasionally the earth just gives us the finger.


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